So Your Friends Think You’re Crazy

I have to admit, when one of my good friends announced she was pregnant with her third child I was dumbfounded. She actually seemed happy about this. We were in our late 30s and had kids of similar ages who were in elementary and middle school. That meant no more strollers, no more baby bags, daily “free” babysitters (ie: public school), sleeping at night, traveling, spending time with friends, etc. Why anyone would WANT to start all over and add an extra 18+ years to their full-on parenting days was beyond me. I loved my kids with all my heart, but was also enjoying the benefits of them growing into self-sufficient little humans who could walk, talk and feed themselves. I could take weekend trips with the girls, and start my new coffee shop venture without worrying about my littles (they came to the shop with me and learned what it takes to earn a buck). So when I announced to my village my plan of committing to a man who hadn’t had the life altering experience of parenting just yet but was well on his way, their unified reaction was beyond surprise. There was a lot of “OoffDa. I can’t imagine”, and “Seriously???”, and “I’m tired just thinking about it”. Not what I was hoping for, but what I expected. I would’ve been right there with them. Of course this wasn’t a quick, easy decision, but at the end of the day I couldn’t deny that my kids were the reason for my existence. They gave me purpose and helped me to understand what life was all about. My gratitude for them was beyond measure, and to be part of this journey once again with someone who was born to be a parent sounded pretty incredible. The truth is, whether you’re 25 or 55, having kids is the best, craziest, most fulfilling, challenging, funnest, hardest thing you’ll ever do, and your job is to decide if you’re up for the challenge. They don’t have to do it, you do. Their opinions, along with the rest of the world, don’t matter AT ALL. Anymore than they matter regarding how you dress, where you go on vacation, if your job is fulfilling enough for you, if your partner is good enough, etc. We love them and their concern, and if you have the stellar village I have you know their concern comes from a place of love, but this journey is not for faint of heart. I am in the fortunate position of having traveled a LOT (and as it turns out, still can. Apparently babies are mobile) so I don’t look forward to kids growing up so I can see the world. I’ve had a couple of great careers, and my current one allows me to work mostly from home. My husband is a dedicated, hands on dad and husband, and I don’t have to get a solid eight hours of sleep every night. I’ll catch up later. And I have the unique perspective of understanding just how incredibly, surprisingly, ridiculously, shockingly fast time has gone in raising my grown children, who are now amazing, beautiful inside and out adults. Blink. Of. An. Eye. So go forward unapologetically and with the confidence of a person who prefers an even bigger village complete with friends, family and children of all ages to love and be loved by. File away the inevitable challenges and ramp up your humor and confidence in being a good human with the right motives. Here’s to you and yours.